Heartfelt ramblings of a compulsive student

So I never thought I would enter the blog world, but here I am.  My mind has been cloudy with many a-thought this last year, and I thought it was about time to start writing them down, as scattered as they may be.  There's a lot that goes into Mastering the Divine.

I finished my biggest final on Friday, only one more to go.  Like every finals season, I feel myself still unable to really let go and relax, even though I know I'm basically done.  It's such  a strange thing, this phenomenon of school--how we throw every ounce of our thought and being into these final tests and projects, and then it's just startlingly over.  I've never been good at knowing how to stop thinking about these things, whether it be the theology of Karl Barth or the polity of the PC(USA).  I wish I could tell my brain to take a rest, but it seems to be cooling down on its own time.

Sometimes, I can't wait for this process to be over.  I dream about what it will be like to have a framed diploma on my wall, to be done with my internship and CPE, to have people introduce me as "Rev. --------".  But then other times, maybe even today, the thought of being done with this all is at once terrifying and heartbreaking.  Terrifying because of the responsibility that this vocational path will carry, heartbreaking because I feel like I'm only recently settling into my communities in an authentic way.  I don't want to leave it a year and half from now.  When I decided to come here to Master the Divine, I didn't foresee that I might want to make this "stepping stone" place my home.  

I think that's quite enough for my first foray into the blog world--more heartfelt ramblings to follow in the future :-)