Back to Reality

Well, after 2 weeks of being on vacation in paradise, I'm happily re-adjusting to normal-person life.  Hawaii was incredible; all the time outside in such beautiful surroundings with family (biological and not) was healing.  And yet, I'm pleased with how little needs healing this year in comparison to last year--I feel like I'm getting to watch all those balls that have been up in the air slowly fall into place.  That is a comfort, but what is perhaps more comforting is that I don't feel as afraid of uncertainty as I once did.  I know full well that my life will take twists and turns I could never predict, and I am much more okay with that now than I was 3 years ago.  

In the vein of healing, my mother, Emily and I composed an impromptu ritual of our own while on the beach of Maui.  Per my mom's recommendation, we wrote down in the sand anything and everything that had ever caused us worry, and celebrated as we watched the waves overcome the simple words etched in the sand.  We giggled the whole time, but there was a depth to the silly victory we felt while watching our concerns literally being washed away.  And to witness it surrounded by family and friends--well, there isn't a word for the happiness that brings.

What I was surprised by was when my mother suggested to me "You forgot to write down K---- in the sand."  I had completely forgotten--and in that moment, I realized that I was moving on from the things that happened last year.  Not that the drama of last year was the most traumatic thing that ever happened to me, but there were moments of such sincere grief and anger that made me grow impatient for when I would get to move on.  

That being said, I've been having dreams about going back to the hospital recently.  They're very simple--all I do is say good-bye to the people there.  I think that's where I still find room for sadness; I didn't get to say good-bye to the people I had worked with in such close capacity for that year.  But that was almost a year ago now, and I celebrate that I didn't feel the need to write that in the sand.  

Things are looking up for 2008.  

A New Year

New Year's 2008 was a New Year's well spent.  I rang in 2008 with my nearest and dearest (or, as I like to refer to them, my VIPeeps :-) ) in St. Paul, MN.  Good people, good laughs, good food, good wine, and all-over merriment abounded.  It was such a delightful way to start this new year, and was well worth braving the frozen tundra that is Minnesota in January.  I have to admit, I still harbor a fondness for Minnesota--I wouldn't be surprised if I end up back there some day, if only for a little while.  While I was there, it was neat to stand back, take in my college friends, and realize that we are all growing up into pretty cool people.  I am so proud of all of my friends and what they are accomplishing in their lives.

What was just as delightful as seeing these wonderful people was coming back to Berkeley--and getting to reconnect with the communities I have here.  While some friends are still "new," I was taken by how many of them no longer fall into that category.  Warm things like breakfast with Eli, calling on Kris last minute to pick me up from the airport and giggling most of the way home, and chatting with Ryan about everything and anything under the sun are just a few of the reasons Berkeley has become home to me.   

Now, I am in what might be considered most authentically my home gearing up to go on vacation with my parents and Emily.  And aside from "studying" for my Bible Content Exam that's coming up, I've been feeling blessed to have three places I can call home.  I can't think of a better way to start of a new year.